Talore’s Blog

Everything started with the dreams
where he would visit
and ended in paranoia when I fled.
Then we barely talked.
The other man had given me a kiss
and my baby asked me about it but didn’t seem too pissed.
The hallucinations began.
I was with him again.
The delusions set in
and I believed escape was our plan.
Anyway, his body and mind were with another while his angel was in the psych ward with me.
My wrists weren’t slit but suicide I did attempt.
Up all night, my beloved told me to take my meds.
Pills were my poison, thank heaven my mom caught me and commanded me to spit them out instead.
Not because of him per se but from dark echoes stirring with and without my brain.
So there I was spending time behind the tranquil walls of East-5 when I got my baby’s call.
I expected to see him every day; spring, summer then one day I realized that it was fall.
Yet, here I was with what seemed to be my boo except he was without its host.
Ghosted, yet there was my ethereal lover; sharing my mind, my body, my time.
How insane it is to grieve when you half believe your flesh and blood lover has died.
Especially while he’s ghosting me, phasing in and out of my phantasmic life.
I hear echoes on the inside,
some are shades too eager to talk to me.
Medication, prayer and yoga have worked wonders for
my anxiety, depression and PTSD.
Apparition, doppelgänger, spirit or ghost,
he could even be proof of the divine,
perhaps I am this entity’s new host.
Yet, however my shady paramour may seem,
I hope he is living the mortal life of his dreams,
because his immortal soul has been residing with me.